Traveling Wins (If you're from 'Merica)

   I'm going to paraphrase someone famous whose name and exact quote I don't feel like googling but with the appalingly low* amounts of Americans with a passport a group of American's discussing the world is like a bunch of virgins discussing a porno flick starring Gianna Micheals. I doubt any of my esteemed, well traveled, intellectual readers has any of these problems but I shall still impart to you some of the traveling wins that I have experienced. I can only write about this from the prosepective of someone from ' Merica and as such I have noticed SO MUCH WIN!!! So here we are, a few traveling wins when you're from 'Merica even when you're not exporting democracy.
    I cannot underestimate how amazing it is that wherever you go, people speak English. Not that everybody everywhere speaks English but enough people speak enough English that you can be understood. This is a perk that CANNOT be understated. Want to find a place to eat/drink/party dart show ask a few people. Someone close to you will speak some English. If you're in a touristy spot you'll find either other Americans or white people Europeans that speak English and they can help you out! This doesn't always work. When I was in Thailand I found myself, inexplicably, in a Russian club. There I met this guy named Nicholai. He spoke very broken English and I speak no Russian but we were able to have a struggling conversation in French. That only barely has to do with this post but it's a cool story I wanted to share. Another win is the American dollar.
   
    Yes, yes, yes I hear you. The American dollar isn't what it used to be since Obama ruined the economy. Sure, the greenback might not have the buying power that it used to but you know what it does have? Acceptance. I swear a good old fashioned American dollar is taken neigh anywhere in the world. From seedy Thai "establishments" to backwoods restaurants in the desert, people WILL take American currency. Now, I suppose this might also be the case for other foreign currencies (Euro, Pound, etc) but I'm out for Presidents to represent me (Shoutouts to Nas). To be fair you only really need to carry dollars on your person if you are in an emergency or neglected to exchange money at the airport/ nearest bank to your hotel. For me, speaking and money aren't the best part about 'Merican traveling wins.

    Despite all the messed up stuff that America has given the world in the past few years people still LOVE AMERICANS!!! This might be the limited scope of travel that I've done but no matter the country people love us. I'm not really sure why. What I do know is that as soon as people find out that you're from America they get so happy and say things like "America number one!" it is pretty random. For most of the world I'm willing to bet that it's a combination of the exportation of our TV shows and our culture. Maybe the old phrase that the black American man is the most copied person on the planet rings true. I've only been to 4 continents so I can't speak for the other ones but it seems true to me. You know to know something really random (That again only barely relates to this post) African kids LOVE JOHN CENA. It is one of the most random things I have ever seen.

    So there you go, the three greatest traveling wins (If you're from 'MURICA). From our culture, to our money, to the  language (shoutouts to the Limeys for starting it) we should feel very comfortable traveling more. After traveling so much I'm semi baffeled why more American's don't travel more often, I'm telling you it's AWESOME!


** Please note: I just got my blue passport 2 months ago but I still got around.
   

Don't Chase the Night

  
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away an older man (whose name escapes me) told me "Don't chase the night". I'm sure you have heard some older person say "nothing good happens after midnight" and that person has never been more wrong and right at the same time. That said, they are old and by nature risk averse and conservative. The night kicks into high gear after midnight, all my legendary stories probably have happened after midnight. HOWEVER!!!!!!!!! The night will also abruptly leave you after midnight too. Before we get into why you should never chase the night, let's discuss the elusive night.

   The night is an almost magical entity that fuels our pursuit of weekends. Quoth the philosopher, "club life's part of the reason I love life". There will always be excellent nights and nights that will HORRIBLE. There is almost no way to predict how the night will go other than some invisible hand (word to Adam Smith) that guides us when we are out. The political "Black Eyed Peas" party once coined a statement that they had a feeling that tonight was going to be a good night. They legit felt it. Sometimes the night, in its infinite wisdom, decides to bless us with a feeling that it will be good to us and indeed its bounty is unrivaled. Other times, the night will snatch defeat from the very jaws of victory. My purpose is to aid all of you in avoiding defeat.

   Just as the night will give you a feeling that it is going to be a good good night, it lets you know when its bountiful blessings have expired. If you are in tune with the night it will let you know. Often times it lets us know OBVIOUSLY, like the excellent club you were at is closed and there are more clubs open just a short 30 min drive away from here. You could even get in another 2 hours of drinking/ clubbing. NO! The night obviously just told you that it is done. You are now venturing into uncharted territory where you are no longer under the protections of the night!!! A more subtle way the night lets us know that it's over is when you get that shot from the bar. It's in front of you and you're just looking at it. You might even pick it up and just look at it and you KNOW that if you take that shot, it's all downhill from here. This is the night letting you know that it will be all downhill from here.... But still, take that shot and just be mindful about what the night just told you. If you don't listen to the night and when its protection leaves, woe to you.

   You know what's out here for you after the night's protections have left you? TROUBLE. The crazier place that you are the more trouble awaits you. I swear that the police have a monopoly on the protections of the night and as soon as they realize that more than 75% of the nights protections have left they set up checkpoints and strangely follow you for 3 turns. In no way am I encouraging drinking and driving BUT recognize that the cops are real out here!! Especially when the bar closes and the police are watching to see who stumbles back to their cars.

Check back in for stories of chasing the night
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